i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
