She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
