she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
too bad you live with your parents still
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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