I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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