Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
