I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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