When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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