I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
