I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have fence marks all over my body
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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