Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
