since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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