Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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