You're completely useless in the revolution.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
