You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
