u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
That was before I lit my hair on fire
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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