I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
