If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize