where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I need help removing her.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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