Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
