glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
