That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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