There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
