He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
