Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
