3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
