i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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