I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
