I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
