i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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