you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I want to make a zoo with you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
