You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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