I smell stomach acid.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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