I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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