ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
