Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just made my gag reflex go away.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
