Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
