nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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