Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
