i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
