Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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