I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
