I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
