I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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