Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
