I just made out with a guy for $7.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
