thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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