Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
