just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
