so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
