whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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