i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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