Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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