I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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