i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
