then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I can't put those talents on a resume
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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