I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
