I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You don't make any sense
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